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jayblackcomedy
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Wed, Dec. 2nd, 2009, 10:51 am
If the iPhone is the world's sexiest woman, AT&T is the STD you kinda know she has, but that you're too horny to think clearly about. Mon, Nov. 30th, 2009, 01:59 pm
If hacker movies from the mid-nineties are right, all you need to do to crack any computer code is to type randomly while the camera spins. Sun, Nov. 29th, 2009, 05:08 pm
Watching my son size up another baby around the Thomas the Tank Engine table at Barnes and Noble. It's like Ali-Frazier right now. Sun, Nov. 29th, 2009, 02:13 pm
I keep hearing that Sarah Palin can "field dress a moose". Is this code for something dirty? If not, why not? Sun, Nov. 29th, 2009, 01:21 pm
Kenny Albert: "the Eagles are really kickin' themselves in the foot with these penalties". Indeed, sir. Sat, Nov. 28th, 2009, 06:35 pm
The European Dutch have pot and hookers. The Pennsylvania Dutch have bonnets and horses. I think America got the short end of that stick. Sat, Nov. 28th, 2009, 06:06 pm
My wife said the TV character I most remind her of is Dexter. I've never seen the show - I assume he's a handsome, well-adjusted comedian? Sat, Nov. 28th, 2009, 01:51 pm
9 AM: my wife picks the _exact_ peak of my REM cycle to scream "GO GET BAGELS!" at me. If they kept stats for this, she'd be Joe DiMaggio. Fri, Nov. 27th, 2009, 11:37 pm
"The Road" is about an apocalypse. "Old Dogs" make you wish for one. Fri, Nov. 27th, 2009, 07:18 pm
Do you like comedy? Do you like over-priced Amish knicknacks? Well, then, saddle-up and see me at Stitches in Lancaster, PA this weekend! Fri, Nov. 27th, 2009, 09:43 am
First we give thanks, then we trample each other for one-day markdowns on consumer goods ... just as the Pilgrims did. Thu, Nov. 26th, 2009, 02:10 pm
Thanksgiving tip: when listing things you're thankful for at the table, try to limit the number of pornstars you mention to three at most. Wed, Nov. 25th, 2009, 10:18 pm
Just flipped from a Beatles doc and "True Life: Jersey Shore". One moment: loving humanity. The next: rooting for a zombie apocalypse. Wed, Nov. 25th, 2009, 08:36 pm
Here's how I would advertise "The Road" tomorrow: "What better way to end a day with your family than by imagining a world without them?" Wed, Nov. 25th, 2009, 09:59 am
AT&T _should_ be advertising it's killer feature: a network so unreliable that you can hang up on any unwanted call and blame it on AT&T. Tue, Nov. 24th, 2009, 04:16 pm
My wife cooks pork the same day we get swine flu vaccines. It's "pigs can suck it day" at the Black house! Tue, Nov. 24th, 2009, 11:30 am
Dear movie characters, if the evil frat boy you're arguing with turns around to walk away, he will actually punch you 109 times out of 100. Tue, Nov. 24th, 2009, 09:44 am
Just got the H1N1 vaccine! Finally I can get back to my unique sexual fetish: oil wretling with people infected with swine flu. Mon, Nov. 23rd, 2009, 04:27 pm
In a movie, if you leave a party to stare off a balcony, your love interest will seek you out. In real life, they hook up with a frat boy. Mon, Nov. 23rd, 2009, 03:47 pm
Watching 1995's "Bye Bye Love". Was America ever innocent enough that Mathew Modine, Paul Reiser, and Randy Quaid could greenlight a movie? |
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