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jayblackcomedy
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Sun, Nov. 15th, 2009, 04:32 am
Every teen considering smoking should share a hotel room with my brother. It's like spending the night in a 19th century TB clinic. Sat, Nov. 14th, 2009, 05:34 pm
Life truth #1544: in any given bookstore, as the ratio of calendars to books approaches 1:1, the quality of that bookstore approaches 0. Sat, Nov. 14th, 2009, 01:51 pm
Mcing. Just intro'd a rapper named "Alexie". He's mad at me for pronouncing it as it's spelled instead of "Alex-A". I am _so_ getting shot. Sat, Nov. 14th, 2009, 04:57 am
Challenge: if MIT and Satan were given $10 trillion, could they come up with a less pleasant flying experience than the one we have now? Fri, Nov. 13th, 2009, 07:11 am
Biiiiiiig woman on the plane next to me. So much of her flesh crept under the armrest that I think I _technically_ cheated on my wife. Fri, Nov. 13th, 2009, 02:12 am
If MN is the Pippin of "making you want to kill yourself for lack of anything to see while driving at night", then IA is the Jordan. Thu, Nov. 12th, 2009, 10:19 pm
New Jaymate alert: I'll be making another appearance on WIP tomorrow at 5:25 AM. If you're up that early ... reconsider your life choices. Thu, Nov. 12th, 2009, 10:47 am
Iowa realtor Susan Hawkins is so good she doesn't need a "real" billboard; she can print _her_ ad on white flimsy plastic tied to a stick! Thu, Nov. 12th, 2009, 09:18 am
Judging from my stay at the Super 8, "super" must be Iowa slang for "dead ladybugs and broken dreams." Thu, Nov. 12th, 2009, 07:24 am
Attention Jaymates: I'll be on 610 WIP at 8:45 this morning. If you're in Philly and own a fancy AM radio, check it out! Wed, Nov. 11th, 2009, 01:21 pm
I'm at a Super 8 between a dog food factory and a rendering plant. If you had the over on "minutes Jay weeps in Iowa", you're making money! Wed, Nov. 11th, 2009, 12:47 pm
I will never know the pain of childbirth, but my wife will never know the pain of a noon show in a cafeteria in Iowa. I think it's a wash. Wed, Nov. 11th, 2009, 07:40 am
My wife and I have been together 9 years today. She just emailed me "Happy 8 years". Honest mistake? Or was she unhappy 1/9th of the time? Wed, Nov. 11th, 2009, 04:08 am
If MInnesota was cool, they'd change the names of Minneapolis and St. Paul to "Tomax" and "Xamot". Wed, Nov. 11th, 2009, 02:43 am
Driving all night. Question: am I big enough back home that if I crash I get a story + an obit or just an obit? I'm thinking obit only. Wed, Nov. 11th, 2009, 01:13 am
Another lonely night driving by myself. Makes me wish I had multiple personalities. Bonus: masturbating would be like an orgy! Mon, Nov. 9th, 2009, 09:25 pm
I'm slipping into depression. FYI: While depressed, I shall communicate only through goth poetry. "Vampire darkness/Hot Topic pants." Mon, Nov. 9th, 2009, 08:16 pm
If aliens come to earth and demand to see proof of our worthiness as a species, I suggest we DO NOT show them AT&T's cell network. Mon, Nov. 9th, 2009, 07:17 pm
Curious as to what pitching a movie is like? Start approaching random women and asking them "Hey, how 'bout a BJ" until one says yes. Sat, Nov. 7th, 2009, 06:08 pm
If casinos have to put gambling addiction hotline numbers on their ads, shouldn't strippers have to use their tramp stamp space for VD info? |
20 most recent |