http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/ JayBlackComedy.com - LiveJournal.com rjblack_16@yahoo.com Sun, 15 Nov 2009 10:32:34 GMT LiveJournal / LiveJournal.com jayblackcomedy 2515533 personal http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76767.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 10:32:34 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76767.html Every teen considering smoking should share a hotel room with my brother. It's like spending the night in a 19th century TB clinic. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76767.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76292.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:34:48 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76292.html Life truth #1544: in any given bookstore, as the ratio of calendars to books approaches 1:1, the quality of that bookstore approaches 0. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76292.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76082.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:51:18 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76082.html Mcing. Just intro'd a rapper named "Alexie". He's mad at me for pronouncing it as it's spelled instead of "Alex-A". I am _so_ getting shot. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/76082.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75889.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 10:57:58 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75889.html Challenge: if MIT and Satan were given $10 trillion, could they come up with a less pleasant flying experience than the one we have now? http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75889.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75762.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:11:38 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75762.html Biiiiiiig woman on the plane next to me. So much of her flesh crept under the armrest that I think I _technically_ cheated on my wife. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75762.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75331.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:12:46 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75331.html If MN is the Pippin of "making you want to kill yourself for lack of anything to see while driving at night", then IA is the Jordan. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75331.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75085.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:19:07 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75085.html New Jaymate alert: I'll be making another appearance on WIP tomorrow at 5:25 AM. If you're up that early ... reconsider your life choices. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/75085.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74831.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:47:55 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74831.html Iowa realtor Susan Hawkins is so good she doesn't need a "real" billboard; she can print _her_ ad on white flimsy plastic tied to a stick! http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74831.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74745.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:18:10 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74745.html Judging from my stay at the Super 8, "super" must be Iowa slang for "dead ladybugs and broken dreams." http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74745.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74346.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:24:30 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74346.html Attention Jaymates: I'll be on 610 WIP at 8:45 this morning. If you're in Philly and own a fancy AM radio, check it out! http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/74346.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73991.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:21:47 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73991.html I'm at a Super 8 between a dog food factory and a rendering plant. If you had the over on "minutes Jay weeps in Iowa", you're making money! http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73991.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73912.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:47:16 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73912.html I will never know the pain of childbirth, but my wife will never know the pain of a noon show in a cafeteria in Iowa. I think it's a wash. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73912.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73663.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:41:12 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73663.html My wife and I have been together 9 years today. She just emailed me "Happy 8 years". Honest mistake? Or was she unhappy 1/9th of the time? http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73663.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73292.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:08:33 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73292.html If MInnesota was cool, they'd change the names of Minneapolis and St. Paul to "Tomax" and "Xamot". http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73292.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73033.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:43:08 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73033.html Driving all night. Question: am I big enough back home that if I crash I get a story + an obit or just an obit? I'm thinking obit only. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/73033.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72732.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:13:23 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72732.html Another lonely night driving by myself. Makes me wish I had multiple personalities. Bonus: masturbating would be like an orgy! http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72732.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72662.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:25:02 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72662.html I'm slipping into depression. FYI: While depressed, I shall communicate only through goth poetry. "Vampire darkness/Hot Topic pants." http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72662.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72325.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:16:38 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72325.html If aliens come to earth and demand to see proof of our worthiness as a species, I suggest we DO NOT show them AT&T's cell network. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/72325.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71996.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:17:34 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71996.html Curious as to what pitching a movie is like? Start approaching random women and asking them "Hey, how 'bout a BJ" until one says yes. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71996.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71834.html Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:08:36 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71834.html If casinos have to put gambling addiction hotline numbers on their ads, shouldn't strippers have to use their tramp stamp space for VD info? http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71834.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71626.html Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:45:34 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71626.html There's a huge sign in LAX that says "Going Down? Use the handrail". Why hasn't an enterprising college kid stolen this for over his bed? http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71626.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71316.html Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:37:43 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71316.html E.T. had an easier time phoning home than I have reaching my wife. Thinking about getting a Speak'nSpell and trying that way. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71316.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71143.html Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:48:19 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71143.html If someone is coughing on a plane during flu season, everyone on that plane should be allowed punch him on the way out. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/71143.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/70834.html Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:28:27 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/70834.html Jay Leno joke from 2031: The guy who invented Viagra died yesterday. As a show of respect, the flag will be kept at full mast for 4 hours. http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/70834.html public 0 http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/70605.html Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:37:44 GMT rjblack_16@yahoo.com http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/70605.html Do ghost kids stay at the mental level they were when they died? Because it'd be hard to be scared of someone who falls for "got your nose". http://jayblackcomedy.livejournal.com/70605.html public 0